saturdays are special days

i've been in a bit of a funk lately.
but...
yesterday my dad came up and we went to Ruth's diner for brunch. It was good as usual and the canyon was beautiful. I think my dad liked it.
moment for my dad:
he always, always calls me back. i know that even when i disappoint him he still loves me and believe me i will continue to disappoint and he will continue to love. he is real smart when it comes to machines, cars, organizing, making breakfast, sales, bad jokes and speaking navajo. (among other things)
he loves lucy and that makes me love him even more.
he adores aidan which also makes me love him even more.
thanks dad.

shabbat shalom

once again i did not sleep so well last night- i'm really getting over this fitful sleep phase i'm going through. finally fell asleep around 5 a.m. i got up around 9:30 and had a lovely breakfast of yogurt and two latkes with some shredded pineapple (successful meal number 1) then chanar and i went to the gym. it was painful and i hated most every minute of it, i really need to get over that. i came home for a bit and had lunch, sausage and pancetta penne (successful meal number 2). i then decided to go to the opera. i got a student ticket for $8- considering i was sitting on the third row, i was pretty happy with it, even though i'm not so sure how i feel about opera. i saw regina. it was weird. then i went to work. i put in a good couple hours. really working on putting a full day in sometime soon. came home and had a spinach and mandarin orange salad with olive oil and fresh crab. (successful meal number 3) now i must do some homework. all in all a fine day a day in which i was able to keep myself busy.
is crab kosher?

home cooked

okay so i'm a little freaked out about my state of financial affairs. it's not pretty and chances are i will not be able to find a great job when i graduate. sigh. so anyway i decided it was time to be a better planner, eater and budgeter! so lately i have been eating out sometimes twice a day. and i'm so bored! seriously i'm sick of eating out.
so i went shopping
i spent $150
i started cooking at noon today and finished at 9:30 pm
i made and froze:
chicken enchiladas and mexican rice (4 servings)
sausage and chicken penne with vodka sauce (2 servings)
sausage and pancetta penne with parmesean (1 serving)
homemade chicken and rice soup (3 servings)
potato latkes (4 servings)

i also bought plenty of fresh items to have fruit and salad for at a week and half.

i had to throw in a couple of frozen pot pies and soy chicken nuggets and a bunch of stuff for sandwiches.

also made some hummus (not so yummy though) and a delicious spinach chickpea side dish, also made some black bean and avocado salad and coleslaw.

i still have stroganoff, chili, and a game hen to make.

oh and some ice cream and cookies. ha!

so hopefully it was all worth the $150, because that felt like a lot of money to spend, but this should also help me eat three meals a day- which i often don't do.

i'm exhausted.

resolutions

welcome to my surgically enhanced blog. i think i will keep it. i would like to give a shout out to al for the inspiration behind the title- i was truly roused by the idea of moving away from our centers and towards the edge in order to get a better view. i think in my search to feel more grounded, i have been doing just that- grounding myself. boring. for so long i felt comfortable in this so called transition, but really i never "transitioned" into anything. so instead of grounding myself and instead of constantly running i've decided that this year i'm ready to solidify some things: beliefs, love, home, family, job, school. i understand that some of those things are ever changing, but it's time for me to figure some stuff out and well...i'm 30, so time to grow up a bit. happy new year and happy birthday to me.

help

in light of my last post, i'm looking for suggestions:
new title for blog?
where to settle?
bring it on friends and family- i'm looking/asking for direction.

cold in phoenix

i'm in phoenix and it is 50 degrees in the house. i have a space heater, but it only emits heat about 2 feet directly in front of it, but i am very, very grateful for it. it sort of feels like i'm camping right now (and we all know how i feel about camping). i am also watching the worst movie ever, eagle vs. shark.
now to sum up christmas:
when on i got in my car last wednesday to drive to hurricane all i wanted to do was get in my car and go somewhere else. just go, go where no one knows me or really where i don't know myself, but then of course i found myself at my parent's house. and that place is a place where i suppose i can be anybody i want and no matter what they put up with me. my parents would do and have done just about anything for their kids and we are all just a bunch of spoiled babies. i think all either of them really want is for us to be happy and there are a couple of us that just can't seem to get that right. i have wasted this holiday. i have lost the meaning. i have walked away from myself in so many ways. i suppose this isn't about summarizing christmas, it's all of 2008.
but it's a new year
my 30th year and time to change the title of my blog
i don't want to be in transition anymore.
i want more meaning
i want more love
i want more peace
2009 shall be my quest to find all of those things.
perhaps i will return to hurricane next christmas and be okay with being myself, with being me and i will want to be with the people that love me not run away from them or from myself.
i am tired of running, tired of moving- it's time to settle.

introducing lucy, lulu or lucinda- the baby dog!